Note: some time ago, I read the following passage in Andrew Pyper’s novel The Demonologist:

“All my life I have been pursued by the black dogs of unaccountable gloom, despite the good luck of my career, the initially promising marriage, and the greatest fortune of all, my only child: a bright and tender-hearted daughter, who was born following a pregnancy all the doctors said would never come to term, the only miracle I am prepared to concede as real. After Tess arrived, the black dogs went away for a little while.” 

I love the metaphor, and have referred to “the black dogs of depression” ever since…

This weekend, depression has finally started setting in…

All the activities I used to do—outside of working my job, and working at home, that is—continue to be illegally shut down by the tyrant governor, and verboten for us mere peons.

Worse, nothing seems to be changing in this state (NV), even though the truth has been readily exposed, for weeks now; leaving the house to get shit done is like walking around in a living nightmare. I honestly can’t process it. It’s like everyone, and the media, and the politicians and bureaucrats, and even many of the business owners, continue to believe that this non-threat is a real threat.

In response, I’m having to reduce, if not attempt to eliminate, my exposure to all the rampant insanity. Avoid the news (online, I don’t watch TV), cancel many of my newsletter email subs, and now even avoid social media. It’s all just too upsetting, too surreal.

Last couple of days I’ve tried deactivating my Facebook account, but that actually seems to make things worse, it’s nearly the only contact I have with sane, rational, thinking people, and pretty much the only social outlet I have remaining during the lockdown. So the better option seems to be to just minimize my time there, minimize my exposure to the insanity, just check in once in awhile, say hey to my friends, see if there’s any promising news.

Otherwise, the near-total isolation depresses the hell outta me.

I’m also considering liquidating and relocating to a “free(er) state”, if there is such a thing, perhaps one of those states that either hasn’t illegally closed business/life, or has already reopened upon discovering the hoax.

I have a lot of work to do on my novel, and a lot of writing to do for my blog, and a lot of reading & studies to do, so I’ma try to focus on all that, and avoid the real world as much as possible right now.

But unfortunately, there’s no avoiding venturing out once in a while to run errands, but I’ve reduced it as much as I can, try to keep it from ruining my day…while the “black dogs of depression” give chase…

Anyway, I thought I’d take a minute to convey the various circumstances that are bringing me down during this tyrannical and illegal government lockdown:


I’ve been a Costco member for years…and 2 years ago I upgraded to Executive Member, and last year I acquired a Costco Visa, which pays me cash back on my Costco purchases. I do a hefty portion of my shopping at Costco (particularly bulk meats), and this past month I spent close to $1,000 there stocking two freezers at home, in preparation for the potential—if not probable—food shortage coming down the pike.

But last time I was there, they had a sign up at the entrance: starting the following Monday (May 4th), all members will be required to wear a face mask in order to enter the store:

In response, I emailed them through their website threatening to cancel my Executive Membership, and explained how and why what they are enforcing is ignorant and pointless.

Luckily, I probably won’t need to shop there again for a few weeks—I’m pretty well stocked up—so it’s yet to be determined whether the insanity will end by then and rational minds prevail, or whether I’ll be looking into cancelling my Costco membership.

Guess we’ll see.

24 Hour Fitness

First of all, the gym I belong(ed) to (24hr Fitness), voluntarily closed all their facilities the week before (and, conveniently enough, just a couple of days after debiting my CC for my monthly payment) the tyrant Nevada Gov. Sisolak illegally ordered them closed. And, as I’ve stated before, I view voluntary stupidity a little differently than stupidity forced at gunpoint, so I deleted my payment information from my account online, intending to terminate my membership for breach of contract (I was never happy with the facility anyway, but thought I’d give it a shot because it’s relatively close by).

And, I’ve been wondering how any of the gyms (much like the casinos) will be able to operate once our overlords “allow” them to re-open, if they’re forced to do all the asinine social distancing, constant sanitation, masks, etc.

Well, I just got an email from them with a linked video detailing the changes they’re making “to keep us safe”, in preparation for re-opening when the government lockdown is lifted.

My first response was you gotta be fucking kidding me…but then I realized that something like this is exactly what I expected would happen. It’s unbelievable:

1) They’re doing social distancing by moving the machines further apart, and moving some into different areas (like onto the basketball court), asking that those wishing to use those areas please understand and respect the safety of other members

2) They’re going to close overnight for full facility sanitation (there goes the whole “24hr” part of 24hr Fitness, huh?)

3) They will also be closing at regular intervals throughout the day for facility sanitation. But don’t worry—they’ll make an announcement when it’s time for everyone to stop in the middle of their workout, gather their stuff, and LEAVE, so the staff can sanitize everything

4) Another benefit: using their app, you’ll be able to schedule a workout slot (assuming one is open at a time that you can go), as now they will be limiting the number of members in the facility at any one time. So, no slot available when you want to go workout? That’s okay, you just don’t get to workout that day. So much for sticking to a routine, huh?

5) With reduced member access, and such inconveniences to their active members, I imagine their member base will drop substantially—which I bet will mean higher member fees for those who stay

I don’t know—perhaps for others, these inconveniences won’t be too much of a problem. But it definitely won’t work for me…besides, I’ve already cancelled my membership there.

But the thing that worries me is if ALL the gyms in town do this…how would anyone such as myself—an independent contractor with an irregular work schedule, and who understands the importance of lifestyle/routine/habit in sticking to a regimen and striving for steady progress, and who also tends to go workout when I happen to get a free couple of hours unexpectedly and, not being an idle person, decide to hit the gym—be able to work around all these new asinine, pointless rules/restrictions?

Answer: it would be next to impossible.

I can only hope that all of the gyms in town don’t stumble into this same idiocy/insanity. I don’t have room at my residence for any kind of home gym, or really any equipment whatsoever….so not sure what I’d do if I can’t go to a gym regularly.

And if they do, I suspect they may all go out of business.

Public Library

I’ve also learned that I will no longer be able to use the public library, due to the insane COVID hoops they’ve implemented upon “reopening” as of yesterday.

It’s bad enough they’re forcing curbside pickup, but they’ve added a bunch of other pointless, inconvenient, and time-wasting hoops that make the whole process not worth the time/effort just to pick up a few books.

To give you an idea how much this impacts my life/studies, at one point some time ago, the lady at the reference desk informed me that I am their top patron…so this really sucks for me.

But after calling and learning of their new insane reservation/appointment/ID (3 verifications!!)/curbside pickup/designated parking/open trunk for employee (wearing mask, gloves, and protective vest<<<protective vest??) to put books in (I don’t even have a trunk in my trunk) process today, I cancelled all of my current reservations. Fuck it. I don’t have time for all that nonsense (which is why I reserve them online and stop in and pick them up on my way home from work in the first place).

So unless something changes, from now on I’ll have no choice but to buy my books, instead of borrow them. Ever since the library has been closed (since mid-March), I’ve had to buy used books on ebay, instead of borrowing them from the library. This, obviously, has greatly reduced my access to books.

Will all this insanity ever end?

Tanning Salon

I work outdoors, and before the summer desert sun hits, I try to obtain a good base tan at the salon, or risk getting royally sunburned on the job—which has been a problem this year, because the tyrant governor Sisolak illegally ordered tanning salons closed as “non-essential” (even though UV light kills viruses, the beds are isolated in single-use rooms, and are sanitized after each use). Also, if I don’t tan at the salon, I get a major “farmer’s tan”, which looks ridiculous. I spent hundreds of dollars in advance to avoid all that, and it was all yanked out from under me.

Anyway, my tanning salon is still closed, and I suspect the owner, who is a friend of mine, might well go out of business. And there are no other tanning salons anywhere near this area. Great. Thank you, government.

Casino Buffets

Though the casinos are supposedly slated to open soon, but will be reduced to 50% capacity and forced to implement social distancing and regular sanitation of cards & chips (insane, how will patrons tolerate the constant interruption of play?), the casino buffets won’t re-open for a long time, if ever. How can they possibly do “social distancing” and constant sanitization of shared serving utensils at a buffet?

Dining at the local buffets was a regular (pretty much weekly) activity for me, mostly because it’s one of the few ways of eating healthy food without paying an arm and leg at a sit-down restaurant. For around $10 – $12, I can get a fresh, hot plate of meat, veggies, no grains, no refined carbs, etc…but no longer. If I want to eat healthfully, I’ll have to stay home and cook. Great, there goes one of the few regular outings I enjoyed.

Hotel Owner

One of our clients owns a couple of hotels out of state, near a big amusement park. And, he’s currently in the process of building a new Holiday Inn Express (I recently learned through him that HIE is actually a franchise!).

Yesterday, he told us he’s been devastated by the government shutdowns. He’s trying to work with the banks, because he has $150,000 a month in mortgage payments that he can’t make now—”There’s just no way”—because his properties have all been shut down by the government.

He lamented:

“You work hard your whole life, you try to do everything right—and it all just gets taken away like that…”


So as you can see, most if not all of the activities I participated in outside of working my job and working at home have been eliminated during this fake crisis, and many friends and associates have been devastated as a result of the government shutdowns.

Is it any wonder depression is setting in—not only for me, but likely millions of others too?

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